i hate the phrase “life is short” because life is literally the longest thing that any of us will ever experience
unless you experience my penis
I just choked on my food.
that’s not the only thing you’ll choke on
Don’t they usually put choking hazard warnings on really small things?
welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous. i’m seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and i just have to say i’m really disappointed
- A Mental Illness Happy Hour listener whose list of fears matches mine four for four. Glad I’m not the only one. (via mukoros)
sometimes im really excited about things and i want to tell everyone but then i remember nobody cares and i just sit there like
to tell or not to tell
This is me on so many levels.
the final step in this recipe didn’t say “enjoy!” so i threw my food in the trash
If your girlfriend has sexual intercourse with another girl. Is that considered cheating?
If I’m right handed and I punch you with my left, did I really hit you?
I’ll reblog this every time.